Ghost Song Busters

We had a vision of Songwriters Heaven, and saw several illustrious ghosts, most of them registering complaints. First up was Johnny Mercer, who said, "What are women doing singing 'One For My Baby'? That's a guy song. Women aren't hanging around in bars at a quarter to three, when there's no one in the joint except Joe and me.  Come on!"

Steve Allen, somewhat more reserved, said, "I would like to have a word with Mark Murphy, whose first success, I might say, was with my song 'This Could Be the Start of Something.' But in a recent recording he has changed the lyrics from 'declining a Charlotte Russe, accepting a fig' to 'declining that rich French food.' Really, Mark. Come on."

Billie Holiday said, "I just want all those ofay females copyin' my style to give it up." "That's right, Lady Day." said the ghost of Elvis, "#$*&&%+! imitators."

"Listen, kid," said the ghost of Sinatra, "you know how many putzsters are out there tryin' to be me ?"

Bob Smith, legendary host of CBC's "Hot Air," might have had a word about the parlous state of current CBC jazz programming, but he was always too benign for that. Instead, he would say, as always, "God bless jazz fans everywhere."