Putinesca

Documents revealing that BC Hydro rates could increase by as much as twenty-six percent have meant good news for the kerosene lamp industry. Virgil Mulluch, spokesman for the industry, said, "This is turning into our biggest year since 1890!" Similar soaring sales are expected for coal stoves, hand-held fans and ice boxes.

Prime Minister Harper is sending his A-team of cabinet ministers into northern British Columbia to persuade First Nations communities that they are sensitive to the concerns of indigenous peoples and that the proposed Enbridge pipeline would be of benefit to them. However, there has been negative reaction to the government slogan "Pipeline Means Big Wampum."

BC NDP leader Adrian Dix has indicated he wishes to remain in that position, despite many calls for a new leader. This led to the morning paper's terse headline: "Dix: 'Nix!' Sticks." Some observers believe party president Moe Sihota may counter with another headline: "Moe: 'No.' Go!"

Finally, Vladimir Putin's success with an opinion piece on the editorial page of the New York Times has encouraged the Russian leader to venture into other areas of journalism. It has been reported he will soon have regular columns in Rolling Stone, Cosmopolitan, and the Hockey News. It is also said he is looking at acquiring a blog, and..."Silence! This is Vladimir Putin, new voice of Pointless Digressions. From now on, it is I who will be addressing you, so pay attention. Previous decadent western writer of blog is now on way to polar bear sanctuary in Siberia."