"No letter today-I hope and I pray--the postman goes by--no letter today."
The old lament soon will be heard across the land, as Canada Post abandons door-to-door delivery in favor of community mailboxes (a feature applauded by break-in artists) and raises the price of individual postage stamps to one dollar (a move applauded by Jacquie Lawson).
The plan now is for aircraft to drop bundles of mail in open fields. Citizens will then be encouraged to dive into the pile to retrieve whatever they can find--love letters, cheques, rejection slips, medical test reports, chain letters, ransom notes, etc.
Essential mail will be handled differently, and receive priority treatment. This will include pizza coupons, Chinese restaurant take-out menus, real estate flyers, and letters from your Member of Parliament.
That's the plan for 2014. In 2015, Canada Post will move to smoke signals.
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