Dealing with Time Change Lag

Sure, we all know about jet lag, but how about the more common, even widespread, time change lag?

Following the shift in time from Daylight to Standard, we stumble around as though we'd been breakfasting on a pitcher of Tequila Sunrise. When we try to speak, the words come out like a spoonful of alphabet soup. And driving? Forget it. Please, forget it!

The only place in Canada immune from this affliction is Saskatchewan, where there is never a deviation from Rational Bovine Time. Saskatchewan, where cows set the clocks.

We wish we could prescribe a cure for time change lag. Ironically, the only remedy is time itself. But take heart--your symptoms will diminish. In about six months. Just when the calendar calls for another time change.

One More Time

We were about to declare this a Politics Free Zone, but thinking of Trump, Christie snd Giuliani making their way to the White House, we were reminded of the film "Going in Style," with George Burns, Art Carney and Lee Strasberg as senior citizens embarking on a last run career as bank robbers.

They don't make it, but they do have style, which is more than one can say for the seniors Messrs. Trump, Christie and Giuliani. Will that aging trio succeed? Stay tuned.

Grow that 'Stache! (Not you, Madam)

The calendar may read November, but all red-blooded, hairy-lipped men know that it is Movember--the month in which all males are expected to grow moustaches as a statement on behalf of men's health issues. Like baldness. And failure to get dates.

There are a number of handsome styles from which to choose: the handle-bar, the pencil-line, the walrus, the Zapata, the Fu Manchu, the Doc Holliday, the Salvador Dali, and the John Bolton. And for those who are challenged in this regard, there is the Groucho Marx--just apply with charcoal makeup.

The group which has always risen to the Movember call with enthusiasm is the Canadian Football League. Players, coaches, even those guys in the press box and broadcast booth begin to display hirsute upper lips. The one who has the edge is Edmonton Eskimos quarterback Mike Reilly, for whom it is Movember year-round.

And this is the month when the CFL finals begin, leading to the Grey (not Moustache) Cup on November 27. May the best 'stache win!

The Country's in the Very Best of Hands

That's one of the songs Johnny Mereer and Gene DePaul wrote for the musical, "Li'l Abner," and it's full of the irony and sardonic humor Al Capp so often expressed.

But the musical we want to remember today is "Of Thee I Sing," written by George S. Kaufman and Morrie Ryskind, with songs by George and Ira Gershwin. The first production ran for 441 performances, beginning in 1931, and it was the first musical to win a Pulitzer Prize.

In the story, John P. Wintergreen runs for president on the Love ticket, and while the score includes the song "We'll Impeach Him," the most memorable is "Love Is Sweeping the Country." Sample refrain:

                      "Love is sweeping the country;
                       Waves are hugging the shore;
                                  All the sexes
                                  From Maine to Texas
                       Have never known such love before."

A cheering sentiment for today.

And we leave you with a consoling thought for those distressed by the end of all the fun of the US Presidential Election campaign: only two more years, and there'll be another!

One for the road

It's quarter to three, no one in the place except you and me;
So set 'em up, Joe; got a little story you oughta know...

A good night to all putting away their Champagne and reaching for the bourbon.

Hey Don, Hill--What're You Doing Tuesday?

The US election campaign is, mercifully, almost at an end. It is like coming out of six months of the flu. And it is warned there may be after effects.  Post-election trauma, here we come.

Meanwhile, the real question is what to consume while sitting thru the long hours of vote counting on Tuesday. The more stylish of Hillary's supporters will be having wine spritzers and hors d'oeuvres. The Trump camp is going for Jack Daniel's and raw meat.

The nominee himself may be having Red Bull or Diet Pepsi, as he does not allow himself alcohol--which may be the worst recommendation for abstemiousness we can think of. In fact, our local branch of the WCTU says that if the Big Orange wins, "we are all going to get roaring drunk, and stay that way for the next four years."

And prepare for the possibility of a mass migration of Americans to Canada.

British Columbia  promises not to replace the Peace Arch with a wall.


P.S.: It is noteworthy that Big Don had no comments on Beyonce's appearance when she performed at a Clinton rally. It is rumored, however, that Kellyanne Conway had to duct tape his lips.

Hallowe'en--the Morning After

Don, it's over. You can take off the wig and the fat suit, and wash off the Day-Glo orange.