C'mon with the rain, I've a smile on my face!

Playlist for the rainy season:

"A Fella with an Umbrella"--Irving Berlin:

"I'm just a fella,
A fella with an umbrella,
Looking for a girl
Who saved her love for a rainy day."

"Till the Clouds Roll By"--P.G. Wodehouse, Jerome Kern:

"Oh, the rain
Comes a-pitter-patter,
And I'd like to be safe in bed.
Helter-skelter
I must fly for shelter
Till the clouds roll by."

"Isn't It a Lovely Day"--Irving Berlin:

"Isn't it a lovely day
To be caught in the rain?
You were going on your way,
Now you've got to remain.
Just as you were going,
Leaving me all at sea,
The clouds broke,
They broke and oh!
What a break for me."

There you are.  And now, with Gene Kelly, let's go singin' and dancin' in the rain.

Climate Short-Change

Fox News announces a sequel to "Bill Nye, The Science Guy."

Stay tuned for "Donald Trump, The Science Chump."

Movember Moustache Check

As we near the end of Movember, the month when all right-thinking men have chosen to adorn their upper lips, we're here to ask: how long is your moustache? You probably haven't had time to challenge the record set in 1962 by Masuriya Din, whose moustache grew to a wing span of eight feet, six inches.

There have been any number of handsome moustaches, from Bat Masterson's to Errol Flynn's, but there also have been some that called for public shaving. Among the most repulsive was Friedrich Nietzsche's, which may have been the model for John Bolton's. A rare photo of a clean-shaven Nietzsche surfaced the other day, and in it he appears significantly more presentable, if no less wacky.

For a big finish to Movember, the traditional moustache month, go to YouTube, and dig the Woody Herman Herd's recording of "Your Father's Moustache."

On to the Grey Cup (and a cup of Earl Grey)

This Sunday will see the 106th playing of the Grey Cup game, in Edmonton. The Calgary Stampeders are favoured, as they were the past two years, but fans are wondering if they will find yet another way to lose.

Stampeders coach Dave Dickenson has complained of a lack of love for his team, and that is most acutely felt in Edmonton, which is always hostile territory for the Calgarians. Coach DD may also be worrying about the officiating, as he was heard to complain that decisions were going Winnipeg's way in the western final because Blue Bombers coach Mike O'Shea is a "&;*#@+! Canadian." O'Shea responded that he is, indeed, "a proud &;*#@+! Canadian."

The prized trophy known as the Grey Cup was presented in 1909 by Earl Grey, then Governor General of Canada. This is not the same Earl Grey for whom the bergamot-flavored tea is named--that was his grandfather, Prime Minister of England in the 1830s. Still, it would be appropriate to enjoy a cup of Earl Grey while watching the Grey Cup. You can always add a hit of bourbon.

We will not venture to predict a winner for Sunday's game. We have been wrong every year since the first Grey Cup, in 1909, when we picked the Toronto Parkdale Canoe Club to win. They were trounced 26-6 by the University of Toronto Varsity Blues.

                                                          --Slap Maxwell.

Donald Trump, meet Miss Manners

US President Donald Trump has called for "more decorum" at White House press briefings.

This is comparable to Tom Wilson or Brad Marchand calling for more sportsmanlike conduct on the ice.

Sayonara, Sikora's

Glum news for collectors of hard-to-find CDs and LPs: Sikora's Classical Records will end its long and valued run in Vancouver February 28.

No longer will you know there is a place where you can find that obscure Baroque harpsichord disc or John Coltrane's Lost Album or a rare Tommy Banks-Big Miller set. (For despite its name, Sikora's has carried much more than classical records.)

Gone--into the library of collectors, one hopes--will be the widest array of records in the city, perhaps anywhere west of Toronto. As February ends, so will Sikora's, joining the long, lamented list of departed music stores: Sam the Record Man, A&B Sound, Virgin, Black Swan.

There are a handful--maybe half a handful--of small shops selling vintage vinyl, some London Drugs stores have reliable record departments, and there is a shop called Sunrise on the second floor of Metropolis that keeps an interesting selection, but this is an endangered species.

What can we say, except oh, woe! And make sure we get into Sikora's before the curtain comes down and the door is locked February 28.

Wisdom of Wally

"Football is a tough game.
You're going to take hits.
You're going to get hurt."

"You are what your record says you are."

"If you live in the past, it will swallow you up."

             --Wally Buono, retiring with 282 career wins.