Sister Acts

The term "bromance" has long been in use to describe a buddy-buddy relationship between two guys, but what word might denote a similar relationship between two women?

It's time to give it serious thought, for we have a new team on the scene. Here, so far, is the stellar lineup of sister acts:

* Laverne and Shirley
* Thelma and Louise
* Grace and Frankie
* And now--Jodi and Jane.

All suggestions welcomed. No prizes to be awarded.

The Lusty Month of May

Is May really a month of unbridled lust? Sir Thomas Malory was the first to declare it, in "Le Morte d'Arthur." He wrote, "It giveth unto all others courage, that lusty month of May."

There is some tradition to this. Virgil wrote that in May, Roman youths would sing and dance in the fields, in honour of Flora, goddess of fruit and flowers.

And some centuries later, Alan Jay Lerner, in his lyrics for "Camelot," another Arthurian romance, wrote, "Tra la, it's May, that lovely month when everyone goes blissfully astray."

But the month is coming to a close--not much time left to go blissfully astray.

Still, June will soon be bustin' out all over, and you know what happens when the feeling gets so intense that the young Virginia creepers are hugging the bejeepers out of all the morning glories on the fence.

The Digressor Rides Again

Abundant thanks to all those who showered this department with flowers, candy, et cetera while we were in the auto body shop for a semi-centennial tuneup. We would like to say we were relaxin' at Camarillo, but that was another time.

But now here we are bursting on the edge of summer, along with the rhododendrons and tulips and hydrangeas. (Farewell to the lovely cherry blossoms, magnolias and azaleas, which bloomed beautifully, briefly, and departed.)

We are also at the beginning of the CFL season, and the BC Lions, with such high performance, high personality players as Mike Reilly, Duron Carter and Bryan Burnham should provide much entertainment (or, as the broadcasters say, material for the highlights reel).

And today is the birthdate of Miles Davis, born May 26, 1926. You might observe the day by playing "Sketches of Spain" or "Kind of Blue" or one of the early great quintet recordings.

What would Miles say if he were still with us? We can hear his rasp now: "How'd I get so #$%^*+* old?"

Temporary Closure

The proprietors regret that this service will close for an indefinite period to facilitate psychic repairs.

We apologize for this break in service, and recommend that followers, in the meantime, read The Borowitz Report.

Justin Sings the Blues

When I came into this office,
I thought I couldn't lose.
Had my pals around me
And nothin' but good news.
But now I feel downhearted--
Got those Jodi Wilson-Raybould blues.

Sunny ways, I told folks,
Smilin' on the news.
Scheer and Jagmeet, they don't scare me,
I'm not an easy guy to bruise.
But I just took a sucker punch
And got the Jodi Wilson-Raybould blues.

I know things will get sunny,
Know once again I'll cruise.
Then we'll think this all was funny
When Gerr and I share a few brews.
Meanwhile I'll keep on smilin'
Through the Jodi Wilson-Raybould blues.

Kindergarten Chaos on Parliament Hill

Following the disturbance caused during Finance Minister Morneau's attempt to deliver his budget speech, the Conservative Members of Parliament have had their nap time doubled and their chocolate milk treat denied for one day. Except for little Andrew Scheer, who, the Speaker said, "clearly had consumed too much chocolate milk and gone completely off the rails." He will be on plain skim for the next week.

Later in the day, the now calm Conservative MPs were seen being led around the Parliament Buildings in an orderly line, two by two, holding hands.

"If they continue to behave," the Speaker said, "they'll be allowed back in the sandbox."

Giving Up Politics for Lent

I know, this may not seem to be a great sacrifice, but on the other hand, it's not easy--politics can be addictive. Dangerously addictive. Mind threatening.

So here we go for forty politics-free days. Rosemary Barton and Anderson Cooper, you're on your own. John Horgan and Rachel Notley, make nice. Justin and Jody, see a councillor. Theresa May and Jeremy Corbyn, have a cup of tea. Andrew Scheer and Jagmeet Singh, get some new lines. Alexandria Ocasia-Cortez, keep on dancing. With Joe Biden. We're out of here, possibly until the next election.

But Robert Mueller, if you get anything, you have my number.