Einstein: The Movie

Since the revelation that Albert (E=MC2) Einstein played goal for the Canwood (SK) Canucks, furious bidding has begun for the film rights.  Working title:  "Einstein:  Space-Time at the Blueline."

Our casting director immediately thought of Robert Downey, Jr. for the lead.  "Robert Downey, Junior, IS Albert Einstein!" he cried.  But then, Eddie Izzard was suggested.  "Eddie Izzard also IS Albert Einstein!"

"Perhaps," the C.D. continued, "we could get Jennifer Tilly, with a cute little sauerkraut accent, as a young Frau Einstein, who never ceases to believe that Al can one day make it to both the NHL and Princeton's Institute for Advanced Study."  Ms. Tilly or Kirsten Dunst, Elke Sommer now being out of the demographic.

Other key players:  Peter Falk (or possibly Jack Nicholson) as Coach Punch Umlaut, Michael "Kramer" Richards as an early twentieth century Eddie Shack, a bruiser for the Pincher Creek Protons, Lang Lang as the rink organist, John Turturro as Zamboni driver Rick Fermi, and, as sportscaster Ace Pfefferneuse, Don Cherry (also on line as wardrobe consultant).

As Al moves the Canwood Canucks back and forth along the space-time continuum, we see him both as a Stanley Cup goalie (playing under the nom de net Turk Broda) and leading his team to the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver.  

"I smell Oscar," I said.  "So do I," said the casting director.  "Oscar, go take a bath."