Turning Up the Heat

Many of us thought the name "Abbotsford Heat" referred to a Fraser Valley police force, but it is, rather, the name of a team in the American Hockey League, sent off to melt the ice by the Calgary Flames.  (These are obviously people with a fire obsession.  Watch for the next team to come out of the oven:  The Punnichy Pyromaniacs.)

This week, the Abbotsford heat has attracted much attention, even from those who normally would choose "Secrets of the Spelunkers" over a hockey game.  The reason:  the spectacular performance of the Heat coach.  Clearly over-heated, he tore off his jacket, leaped onto the railing of the team box, and shattered two hockey sticks in a manner previously known only to golfers. 

This turned out to be an enormous crowd-pleaser.  Coaches generally show emotion only by more vigorously chewing gum (although in more sophisticated arenas, some have been seen to roll their eyes).  The old audience has been re-energized, and a new audience has been drawn.

And so, the word has gone out from league honchos to coaches:  Brush up your act!  Find new ways to go wacko!  Tear off your trousers!  Swing from the press box like a chimpanzee! Berate the officials with a hip-hop routine!  Seize control of the Zamboni!

Latest development:  AHL teams have begun hiring creative directors.

In other news:  Premier Campbell handed out green eye-shades to Liberal MLAs today, and said that the decision to employ pole dancers for the new BC Casino "demonstrates this government's commitment to arts and culture."