Beating Around the Bush

It has come to our attention that Laura Bush has written, and had published, an autobiography. The book has not yet been released, but Pointless Digressions has received excerpts from one of the publisher's galley slaves (note clever word play, for which P.D. is famous).

Ms. Bush's book is titled "Spoken from the Heart," the title "Bushwhacked" having been rejected. It joins a long line of memoirs by ex-presidents, ex-first ladies, ex-hangers on, and ex-wannabes, many of which may be found on a remainder table near you.

One of Ms. Bush's items recalls a visit to the White House by Prince Charles.  She and her staff were puzzled, she writes, when the Prince of Wales requested a glass with a scoop of ice  On receiving it, he produced a flask and poured into it what she guessed to be "straight gin."  To most of us, the reason for this is obvious:  in the Bush White House, the beverage of choice was probably Dr. Pepper.   The Prince, wisely, had followed the dictum of a favorite archbishop who advised "the wisdom of carrying your own flask."  

Ms. Bush also laments the negative labels pasted on her husband by Democrats, as she no doubt remembers the generosity and charity of comments by Republicans regarding President Clinton and presidential candidates Gore and Kerry. 

Finally, she suggests that the gastrointestinal distress suffered by her husband, herself, and members of W's staff during a G8 summit in Germany may have been the result of an attempt to poison the President (an excuse not thought of after Bush Major's up-chuck in Japan).  And she may be right.  However, it should be noted that Bush Minor felt a similar queasiness after viewing Oliver Stone's film "W."

"Laura," he said, "I feel nauseous."