* Following his performance on the Golden Globes Awards show, Ricky Gervais can no longer hang out with Tom Cruise and John Travolta at Hugh Hefner's luxury pad (Hugh still calls it a "pad"). And Cher is returning all of Ricky's letters.
* Prime Minister Stephen Harper, sitting for an interview with Peter ("Who swiped my Rogain?") Mansbridge, sketched what is likely to be the main thrust in his next election campaign; i.e., "Give the good guys--that's us--a majority government or be faced with a coalition of Socialists and Separatists." Many will no doubt be moved to vote for Mr. Charisma, the rockin' PM, a mix of Elton John and Merv Griffin.
* British statisticians have determined that the world has recovered from its post-Christmas tristesse, January 17 having been declared the most depressing day of the year. The good news implicit in this: the rest of the year should be peaches!
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