Saturday, May 21, 2011

Enraptured

We are short-staffed today, as many of the Pointless Digressions team are busy scouting Rapture yard sales. One correspondent reports that he purchased a Mercedes SLK 230 for $8.50, and the seller made him a latte. 

In other news, our Los Angeles entertainment reporter, Vince Fennario, reveals that he has seen Arnold Schwarnezzer's love child, and, says Vinnie, "he looks a lot like Charlie Sheen."

Meanwhile, in Manhattan, chambermaids are drawing straws over who will tidy Dominique Strauss-Kahn's suite. "Not me, baby. Un-uh."

Finally, this item from our Personals Column: a writer identifying himself as "Ben. E." writes "Dear Flasher Fan: When I saw you in your pierced person, you pierced my heart. I kept making cheap hits and getting sent back to the penalty box just to see you again. I have given up my chance at the Byng Trophy for you, kinda like Don Jose and Carmen, although I am not supposed to know stuff like that. Please say we can meet again. Benched for your love, Ben E."

And this response: "Hey, Ben E. I'm sure you are a sweet guy, but I wasn't flashing you. I was hoping for Michael Buble. Or Jagger Dork."

1 comment:

  1. Globe and Mail, Sunday, May 22 - 2011

    “The May 21 doomsday message was sent far and wide via broadcasts and websites by Harold Camping, an 89-year-old retired civil engineer who has built a multi-million-dollar Christian media empire that publicizes his apocalyptic prediction.”

    Instead of fooling with theology, maybe he should have stuck to his theodolite.

    Cheers!!

    Lantzvillain

    ReplyDelete