Newtering the Country

Canadian Environment Minister Peter Kent has proclaimed the accord reached at the Durban, South Africa, conference on climate change "fair and balanced," which shows that the minister either has a fine sense of irony or spends a lot of time with Fox News.

And now, to the U.S., where televised debates among Republicans hoping for their party's presidential nomination are still trailing "Cupcake Wars."  

Backers for Newt ("Whaddya mean, I coulda been a contender? I am a contender!") Gingrich are growing in number, especially among those who believe Harold Robbins deserved the Nobel. They have now formed an alliance known as the Newters. "When Newt becomes president," said one, "we'll Newter the whole country!"

Recalling Irving Berlin's "I Like Ike," the Gingrich team has released a new campaign song. Titled "You're a Beaut, Newt," it beat out "You're So Cute, Newt" and "We Salute Newt." A video has been filmed, featuring Kelsey Grammer in his Sideshow Bob persona as lead singer, with backup by a trio called The Newtettes, representing the present and former Mesdames Gingrich.

A new political genre--the attack song--has also been produced by the Gingrich team. So far, it has songs attacking Governors Perry and Romney, employing their first names, Rick and Mitt. Unfortunately, the lyrics have been deemed unsuitable for general audiences.