Attack of the Ants

Reports of a Lower Mainland invasion by ferocious European fire ants brought to memory the famous short story "Leiningen vs. the Ants." Written by Carl Stephenson, and published in the December 1938 edition of Esquire, it became a staple of junior high school literature courses.

And good for the curriculum designers who chose it, we say. How could you go wrong with a robust yarn of a tough plantation owner in the Amazon jungle battling an army of ants "ten miles long and two miles wide...before you can spit three times, they'll eat a full-grown buffalo to the bones."

The story was adapted for radio, read by William Conrad, and there are various film versions, including 1954's "The Naked Jungle," with Charlton Heston in the leading role (as Leiningen, not the ants).

Most of these items, including the still riveting story, can be Googled to your screen. Better to watch Leiningen's war against an insect army than to uncover a nest of European fire ants in your garden.