It has long been known that Monday is the grumpiest day of the week. In keeping with that, we present a few of the petty issues that have been causing us to edge ever closer to the liquor cabinet.
1. Pas des cravates. A friend of ours once sent out dinner invitations with that notation. He did so, we believe, because one or two of the invited guests did not know how to knot neckties. This was acceptable. But what is boring is seeing powerful politicians and titans of industry turn up without neckties and their shirt collars open, under the impression that this makes them look like regular guys, pals you might go bowling with, despite their $2,000 suits.
2. Now--the new "eh." Broadcast news persons have taken to punctuating their reports with the word "now," no matter how inappropriate the context. "Now" can be employed properly as a noun, adjective, adverb and conjunction. As currently used by many broadcasters, the word is taking the place of the discredited "eh."
3. Lottery commercials in which the glamorous make-believe winners look nothing at all like the people who actually win lotteries. Except for Barry Deley.
Okay, we feel better now. And tomorrow is Tuesday. As Ira Gershwin once wrote, "Maybe Tuesday will be our good news day."
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