Beer Garden Beef

Anheuser Busch, one of America's leading brewers, has been accused of watering its beer, thereby reducing its alcohol content. "I suspected it," said Chester Wallaby. "I haven't been getting nearly as blitzed as I used to."

This is Pink Shirt Day in Canada, dedicated to the elimination of verbal and physical bullying. One of its fervent supporters is BC Premier Christy Clark, who asked NDP leader Adrian Dix "Where's your pink shirt, four eyes, you wimp?"

A UBC study reports that obesity in Canada is on the rise. "Overblown," said Senator Mike Duffy. "I don't give too much weight to it," said Toronto Mayor Rob Ford.

And today Pope Benedict XVI went back to being Joe Ratzinger. The Vatican announced it will have a pair of his red Gucci loafers bronzed.

In Washington today, President Obama spoke at the unveiling of a statue of Rosa Parks, the woman who sparked the US civil rights movement by refusing to give up her seat on a segregated bus. "Well," said TransLink officer Vern Battleby, "she wouldn't have gotten away with that on our line. Wait..uh..did I say something wrong?"