February Clearout

Bits 'n' pieces left over from January:

David Letterman, after snagging a pass from Baltimore Ravens QB Joe Flacco on his late night show, has turned down an offer from BC Lions coach Mike Benevides to sign on as a wide receiver. "And we thought," said Benevides, "we had the perfect replacement for Geroy."

The second Monday of February has been declared a holiday, designated "Family Day." The move by BC Liberals to have it named "Christy Clark Day" was rejected. "What," said an outraged Concerned Citizens for BC spokesperson, "you spend fifteen million bucks and can't get a simple favor?"

The New York Public Library reports the return of a book overdue for fifty-five years. The book was "Fire of Francis Xavier." Hey, we're slow readers, but fifty-five years? The book was returned anonymously, with a cheque for one hundred dollars, well in excess of what the NYPL would have charged. Top fine would have been the cost of the book, but, if they had been pursuing a daily fine, the borrower would have been in for $5,000. A frequent contributor to this program returned a book in 2001 he had taken out in 1956. The library staff, gathered in awe around the errant borrower, graciously waived a fine, but kept the book. They said, "We have some people waiting for this."

And finally, Valentine's Day approaches. We have several viewers from the 1930s and '40s still desperate to know who "Guess who?" might be.