Brrring! Brrring!
"Vlad? Vlad, it's me, Don."
"Don. Have I not told you never to call me at this number?"
"I know, Vlad, but this is an emergency."
"And especially do not call when I am watching 'Two and a Half Men.' So what is the emergency? The deep fryer at your local KFC broke down? You got the wrong dye and your hair is now green? Ann Coulter and Judge Pirro are mud wrestling on the White House lawn?"
"Actually, Vlad, I'd like to see that. But no, it's worse than all those things, frightening as they are. It's the new crowd in the House of Representatives. They're going to start issuing subpoenas, and some people might say bad things about me."
"Do you not run that government? Can you not send those Representatives to a gulag somewhere? Don't you still have Alaska?"
"It doesn't work that way here, Vlad. It's one of the problems with democracy."
"Listen, Don, don't think I'm not sympathetic, but I have to go. It's almost time for 'The Big Bang Theory.' Speaking of which, I've instructed our military to make more bombs. I'll tell you what I'll do, Don: I'll send you a case of Stolichnaya."
"But Vlad, you know I don't drink."
"Probably you should start."
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment