Gimme the Guineas

The Queen's Plate was established 151 years ago, when Queen Victoria put up a purse of fifty guineas.  If you have a guinea tucked away somewhere, it is probably gold, and could bring you a few hundred or a several thousand dollars.

The winner of Sunday's running collected slightly more than fifty guineas--$1 million.  And those who had the foresight to wager on Big Red Mike, although not the favorite, at 6 to 1, picked up a pretty packet.

One distinguished lady in a flowered dress and wide-brimmed hat was seen stuffing into her handbag gazillions of dollars.  It is said that she won so much she was able to buy not only Research in Motion, but also the Phoenix Coyotes, and move them to London.  When Gary Bettman protested, she cried "Off with his head!"

Unfortunately, her loyal companion had wagered the Crown jewels on Who We Gonna Call, which ran out of the money.  Thus he was compelled to ride in the luggage compartment of the Royal jet on the flight to New York.

"Not to worry, Luv," he said.  "Wait until we get to La Grande Pomme.  I've booked us on Dancing with the Stars."