Mad Men Redux

The fourth season of the award-winning television drama "Mad Men" begins tonight, and here at the Old Ad Guys Retirement Home, we are very excited.  We have dressed in our Ivy League suits, put on our button-down Brooks Brothers shirts, knotted our silk Sulka neckties, and fastened our gold-plated Swank cuff links and tie bars.  Next we will dust off our Don Draper snap-brim fedoras.  

For the occasion, Nurse Ratchit has promised to mix our bedtime Ovaltine in a silver Martini shaker, and we are practicing classic ad agency jargon; e.g., "Let's run it up the flagpole and see if anyone salutes" and "Let's throw it up against the wall and see if it sticks."

We are also recalling past triumphs and glories, and singing such beloved jingles as "Poor Miriam, poor Miriam--neglected using Irium" and "Stop that cough, stop that cold, in the nick of time.  Don't delay, it doesn't pay, get Mason's 49."

Ah, here comes Nurse Ratchit, to turn on the television set.  But what's that she's saying?  "Mad Men" has been deemed too stimulating for elderly ad men, likely to cause potentially harmful excitement? 

Instead, Nurse Ratchit tells us--as she gets us out of our sharp 1960s duds and back into our jammies and bathrobes--we may enjoy either "100 Huntley Street" or "Snail Cultivation in the Loire Valley."

Oh, well--that's how the cookie crumbles.