Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Health Notes from All Over

A trio of Canadian doctors has issued a news release stating that KFC's 540-calorie Double Down (bacon, cheese and the Colonel's secret sauce, sandwiched between fried chicken breasts) is better for you than one egg yolk.  The doctors have received the Colonel Sanders Award for Medical Breakthroughs and a special deal on a bucket of chicken.

In England, the medical journal "The Lancet" has declared that the most dangerous drug of all is alcohol.  This news has meant a quick boost in the share values of crack and crystal meth.  (And we always thought Crystal Meth was an exotic dancer.)

Finally, researchers announced that the best way to avoid catching a cold is to exercise vigorously, twenty minutes a day, five days a week. We launched into a 5BX regimen with a vengeance, and found that the researchers were right:  we have not caught a single cold. However, we do require a hip replacement.  

2 comments:

  1. Surely a contention as broad as that of the Canadian MDs needs a certain amount of qualification along the lines of "... better for you than one egg yolk provided that you are already either dead or about to expire with hypercholesterolemia."

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