Prime Time Broadcast from Victoria

"Good evening, fellow British Columbians.  I'm here to clear up a few misunderstandings regarding my totally benevolent rule of this province.  Now, I know many are wondering 'Is our Premier a bully?'  I am here to state categorically, I am not a bully."

"Uh, sir?  You might want to put your arms down and stop giving the V sign.  Too strong an association with you-know-who."

"Thank you, whoever you are.  Don't interrupt again unless you want to be assigned to swabbing the heads on BC Ferries.  Now, where was I?  Ah, yes.  To prove my point, i have with me some of my loyal minions, I mean colleagues.  Here they are now--Dopey, Sleepy, Sneezy, Bashful and Doc."

"Excuse me, sir, but where are Happy and Grumpy?"

"There is no Happy in this group, and Grumpy was kicked out.  Back to my address.  It is said that I control my team with abusive, intimidating behavior.  I ask my assembled slaves:  is that true?"

"No sir, not at--ouch!--all, sir."

"Sleepy, wake up and read your lines!  And it has been said that I sometimes shout in people's face, spraying them with spit.  Is that true?"

"No sir, never, un-uh."

"Thank you.  Here, have a Kleenex.  And finally, is it not preposterous that some claim I am given to profane rage?'

"What some disgruntled people will say."

"Exactly.  Totally *&#$%+! PREPOSTEROUUUS!!  Thank you for joining me in this fireside chat.  Now, any questions?"

"Just one, sir.  What will you do after leaving office?"

"Well, I could get out my old guitar; I hear that hootenannies are coming back.  Or I could be a spokesperson for Jenny Craig.  But why worry?  Who says I'm leaving?"

"Uh--you did, sir."

"Yeah?  Just wait 'til the leadership convention."