Looking for Another Job

The leaders of Canada's political parties, being prudent individuals, have given serious thought to what they might do should they lose the October 19 election. They do not want to swell the country's unemployment figures.

Thanks to information leaked by an Ottawa career counsellor, we are able to reveal the fall-back plans of Ms. May and Messrs. Harper, Mulcair and Trudeau.

Tom Mulcair: Considered a shoo-in to play the lead in "The Monty Woolley Story." Should this fail, Tom's agent says he has a lot of department store Santa gigs lined up.

Stephen Harper: Greeter at the Devil's Coulee Dinosaur Museum, although he was hoping for Walmart.

Justin Trudeau: Host of "Celebrity Boxing," based on his defeat in the ring of Patrick Brazeau. "There's a connection between politics and boxing," said a network spokesman. "A lot of Raging Bull."

And Mr. Trudeau is not the only leader looking to television. Elizabeth May's potential future: replacement for Rosie O'Donnell. "Bring her on," said Donald Trump.