Bedtime Stories

Writing in Britain's Daily Telegraph, Rowan Pelling reports that "according to a new survey, one sure-fire way for a man to charm his inamorata is to read to her in bed...seven out of ten men regularly perform this service." 

Several men, unsuccessful in finding the way to their sweeties' hearts, or any other part of them, have tried this technique.  Results have been mixed, but this may be due to the books they have chosen to read.  Philbert Wombley read his spouse several chapters of "The Dummy's Guide to Taxidermy," following which she said, "I have two words for taxidermists."  "Yes?" said Philbert, trembling with anticipation.  "The two words are," she said, "get stuffed."

Waldo Fitterling tried reading some the spicier passages in "How to Do Your Own SUV Repairs." This did not bring the desired arousal in Mrs. Fitterling, but did cure her insomnia.  

Finally, Ralph Rubato settled on "Curious George Explores Bondage." Ralph writes "This book did have a fiery impact on my wife, Myrna. She went out and bought a monkey, which has taken my place in the boudoir.  I am now sleeping on the couch."

It could have been worse, Ralph.  You could have read her "Babar Discovers the Kama Sutra."