Wait 'til Next Season

So the Vancouver Canucks went down to dire, dismal, doomed defeat, and Dustin Byfuglien, on the plane back to Chicago, led his fellow Blackhawks in a rousing rendition of "Do You Know the Way to San Jose?"  (Those of us who remember when there only six teams in the National Hockey League still find it incongruous that there should be NHL franchises in places like San Jose, Phoenix and Los Angeles, where the terra is closer to desert than ice patch.)

Canucks fans have been left feeling like Sami Salo, and outside GM Place, according to Pointless Digressions sportscaster Bob Slaigh, the mood was forlorn and ugly, as many burned their Canucks jerseys. Some were trying to sandpaper away their blue and green face paint, but to no avail.  However, medical experts have assured them the paint should fade, in as short a time as six months.  

Sports psychologists and grief counsellors have been called in to pull fans through this difficult period.  Dr. Sigmund Fleckmeister has suggested that fans transfer their obsession to another game--Scrabble, perhaps.

Meanwhile, the Canucks loss-Blackhawks win has had an impact on the restaurant industry.   "No one order lobster linguine any more," lamented Aldo Spazzarini.  "Now they all want Chicago deep dish pizza."  ("Very tasty," says Bob Slaigh.)

Finally, Mitzi Froufrou, who has dated numerous Canucks over the years, has announced she is giving up her love for the game and is taking the veil.  Mother Felicity, of the Order of Dashed Hopes, says "We will be happy to receive Mitzi as a postulant, once she has had the Canucks logo tattoo removed from her thigh."