Chim-Chim Chiree

In the midst of the Pointless Digressions deck renovations, which threaten to go on longer than the BC Rail trial, we were informed that a chimney sweep was on the way.  What a delight when it turned out to be Dick Van Dyke, who came in, soot-smudged and cheery, singing his famous chimney sweep song:  "Chim-chiminee, Chim-chiminee, Chim-chim Chiree."

Thrusting himself and his broom halfway up the fireplace chute, he uncovered the remains of a grow-op--left, we hastened to assure him, by a previous tenant.  Then he brought down a rotund man in a red suit, his white beard full of ashes.  "Reindeer left without me," he muttered. "Anything left in the wassail bowl?"

It was then that Dick spied the black umbrella suspended in the branches of a tree, an umbrella that had been there for some time, like Charlie Brown's kite.  "Blimey," he said, "looks like Mary's brolly to me!"  And out the window he scurried.

"What's left in your gift bag?" we asked the less than jolly Claus.

"One G.I. Joe doll and a Rubik's cube," he said.  "Your choice.  One more dip in the wassail bowl and then you can call me a cab."

"Don't need it, mate," said Dick.  "I've got Mary's magic brolly.  Hop on, and I'll give you a lift.  Faster than reindeer and never needs feeding.  Where would you like to go?" 

"How about Andy Capp's pub?"

"Right!  Fancy a pint meself!"  And with a hearty "Cheerio!" they were off.