Teams of grief counsellors are in place, ready to comfort would-be Members of Parliament who fail to receive enough votes in the 2015 federal election. "I wore out three pairs of sneakers going door-to-door," we can hear knocked-out nominees sob. "My knuckles are calloused from pounding on doors, my lips are swollen from kissing babies."
It is anticipated also that some defeated nominees will demand a recount. "I'm not conceding until the ballots are counted again! I only lost by 6,000 votes!"
Who knows what the result will be? Our advice: Save those lawn signs.
And as consolation for those suffering post-election tristesse: Each losing candidate will be given a DVD of Stephen Harper performing "Let It Be."
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Save those lawn signs, indeed! (I hear that S. Harper is feeling Zen. Must be the song.)
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