Gate Crasher Nabbed at White House

The White House confirmed today that thanks to heightened security measures, another gate crasher has been apprehended.  The following report comes from Sgt. Beeps McGonigal:

"Suspect was spotted descending from fireplace in midst of White House Christmas party.  Claimed to have descended through chimney.  'Hey,' I said, 'are you on the guest list?'

"'I should be,' he said.  'Look, I have this handwritten note, asking me to come.  Said there would be cookies and milk waiting for me.'

"Loony, I thought.  Rotund man of indeterminate age, wearing red suit.  Bushy white beard, thought to be fake, until I attempted to remove it.  Carrying large bag, possibly filled with weapons of mass destruction.  'Okay, fella,' I said.  'Whatcha got in that bag?'

"'Why, gifts, of course,' he said.  'Likely story,' I snapped.  'No, no,' he said,  'look.  Here's a garden trowel and a package of heirloom tomato seeds for the First Lady, Mo'Def CDs for the little girls, a chewy toy for Bo, and a Lakers tee-shirt for the President.  Plus a little surprise.'  

"'Uh-huh.  And what might that be, Pops?'

"'Glenn Beck's hairpiece.'

"'Okay, I figure we've heard enough.  I'm taking you in, Buster.'

"'But what about my reindeer?'

"'Your what?'

"'Up on the the roof.  Pawing around.'

"'Um.  Finster, you go up on the roof.  Maybe you should take a shovel.'

"Finster asked, 'Whatcha gonna do with the little fat guy, Sarge?'

"'Put him down in the holding cell.  Along with that big rabbit we caught with a basket of eggs."