Did I hear someone say, "Play it again, Steve"? Well, we're gonna get the show going tonight with a Hoagy Carmichael classic, appropriate to my visit. It's Hoagy's "Hong Kong Blues." Sorry if any of the lyrics offend. This song was written before the era of political correctness, which as far as I know has not yet reached Alberta. Political correctness--kind of an NDP thing, really. You know what my friend Jack Layton says NDP stands for? "No Ditzy Prime Ministers." Ha ha, that's rich. Jack is such a card. Got any plans for your next career, Jack? Okay, here we go. Music, maestro, please.
"This is the story of a very unfortunate colored man
Who got stranded down in old Hong Kong.
He got twenty years privilege taken away from him
When he kicked old Buddha's gong."
Funny, Bacall loved it in "To Have and Have Not." Well, moving right along, I've got a tune here for my old pal Iggy. I was going to do "Harvard Blues"--you know, "I don't keep no dogs or women in my room"--but being as we're here, I thought this Frank Loesser number might be more apropos. Comin' at you, Ig:
"I'd like to get you
On a slow boat to China...."
Wait a second, how did Bob Rae get in here? Okay, Bob, you just keep that up. We'll send Mike Duffy over to sit on you.
"...out on the briny,
The moon big and shiny...."
Wow, that's the first time I've been pelted with pork dumplings.
Editor: The lyric actually reads "who got arrested down in old Hong Kong."
ReplyDeleteLG: I know. My slip.
Ed: And "ditzy"? I would have preferred "dim-bulb."
LG: Thought of it later.
Ed.: You do read these things over before you post, don't you?
LG: I do.
Ed: So what do you do now?
LG: Spend a sleepless night of remorse.
Ed: The least you can do.