Sunday, December 19, 2010

Dropping in on the Claus Family

"So where were you, all afternoon?"

"You know my job, I have to be at the shopping mall, talking to children."

"So you say.  Where'd you get the bourbon breath?"

"A fellow dropped by who remembered me from his childhood.  He was carrying a flask to ward off the cold, and it would have been churlish to refuse a sip."

"The way it would have been churlish not to clutch that bimbo under the mistletoe for fifteen minutes?"

"Merely comforting her.  She didn't find what she was looking for in her stocking."

"I saw you helping her look."

"Ah, but enough of this badinage, my dear.  It's a time of jollity and good cheer.  Tell me, how have the elves progressed at their toy-making?"  

"Toy-making--ha!  The fuzz finally busted their grow-op!  Took 'em all away, in their little pointy caps."

"(Sigh) Well, how about the reindeer?  Have they been fed and shod?"

"Yes, Jelly-Belly, but you'd better stop giving Rudolph those fermented oats.  His nose is turning red."


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