Christy Clark, Premier of British Columbia, met this week with Alison Redford, Premier of Alberta, neither of whom is likely ever to be featured in Vogue. Ms. Clark, icicles hanging from her earlobes, described the meeting as "frosty." Brian Forst, long known as "Frosty" on CKNW, deplored the use of his nickname and threatened to sue.
Mitt Romney, preparing for his initial debate with President Barrack Obama, said he would prefer to debate Clint Eastwood's empty chair. Unfortunately, the chair had a prior engagement.
Prime Minister Stephen ("The Grin") Harper was in New York to accept a Great Statesman of the Universe Award from some unknown organization, a trophy he can place on his mantel along with his autographed picture of Mr. Dressup and his Best Impersonation of Elton John Award.
Harper, however, went out of his way to avoid the United Nations, sending instead John Baird, the Darth Vader of the Conservative party, to deliver a stern lecture to the General Assembly. Many member nations, feeling their knuckles severely rapped, agreed they must quickly pull up their socks to meet the Harper-Baird standard.
Across Canada, following the E-coli outbreak believed to have sprung from Alberta beef, vegetarian and vegan diets showed an impressive increase. Please pass the soya burgers.
Recent polls show that female voters in British Columbia are opposed to Liberal Premier Christy Clark, but male voters are close to even on Ms. Clark and her government. This has led to Liberal strategists sending suggestions to their male supporters; e.g., "On election day, hide your wife's car keys. Or change the date on the calendar. Or tell her the polling station has been moved to Tukoyaktuk."
Finally, last chance to get tickets for the mud wrestling match in Nakusp Hot Springs between Premiers Clark and Redford. TSN will be there.
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