Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Turkeys Head North

"This is Ralph Dooley, reporting for PD News on the arrival in Canada of hundreds of American turkeys the day before Thanksgiving is celebrated in the United States. With me I have Orville Turkey, one of the leaders of this mass migration. Orville?"

"Thanks, Ralph. We prefer to think of it as a move for freedom, rather than a migration. We have come to Canada to escape the oppressive and unjust ways of our former country. If we'd wanted to migrate, like to a warmer place, we would have gone to Mexico."

"But you chose Canada."

"We did, Ralph. And that's because Canada has always been a welcoming place for Americans dissatisfied with U.S. policies. Think of the many Vietnam War protesters who moved here. And there's one more factor of Canadian life especially attractive to us."

"And that is?"

"We knew we would feel at home here, because we had been told that many of your political leaders are turkeys."

"Thank you, Orville Turkey. This is Ralph Dooley for PD News."

"You wouldn't have any corn kernels on you, would you, Ralph?"


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