"Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone," he told me, "just remember that all the people in this world haven't had the advantages that you've had."
F. Scott Fitzgerald, "The Great Gatsby"
Those famous opening lines may not be entirely appropriate for this subject, but I think of them whenever I am tempted to criticize a magazine article or a radio performance. I wince with the memory of excruciatingly bad articles I once committed to paper, and silently apologize to listeners for my self indulgence behind a microphone. (By the way, have you noticed that many writers are now abbreviating "microphone" as "mic"? I can only conclude that these are people who have never worked behind a mike, and are probably related to the people who translate the "I Love" heart symbols as "I Heart Pismo Beach..or whatever.")
Okay, there I go again. The line between editor/critic and surly curmudgeon is narrow. I did study under Sam Fogel and Terry Garner.
But back to our topic (we are serial digressors here); while we still feel guilt for some of the things we pushed on unsuspecting radio audiences, there are others we remember with pleasure. And one of these was a commercial for a French restaurant---name long forgotten--read by Brad Keene, in his best Bogart mode, and Bill Phillips.
Brad: Read it, Sam.
Bill: Ah, I don't think I remember it, boss.
Brad: Come on, you read it for her, you can read it for me.
Music: "As Time Goes By," Errol Garner. Fade under
Bill: Quenelles de coquilles St-Jacques.
Brad: (Sigh)
Bill: Huitres a la vodka de bleuets sauvages.
And so it went, thru all of the courses on the menu, ending with
Bill: Sabayon de fraises gratinees.
Brad: Read it again, Sam.
Did this commercial send hordes of people to the restaurant, jamming its reservation list for months ahead? We don't know. But we did have fun, and that's why most of us were in the biz.
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