Another US Presidential Opera

Following the great success of "Nixon in China," plans are underway for another opera:  "Bush in Germany."  The setting is Heiligendamm, a Baltic Sea resort where George W. Bush and other G8 leaders met in 2007.  President Bush and members of his entourage became ill during their visit, and, in her soon to be published autobiography, Laura Bush suggests that they may have been victims of a poison plot.

With this high drama in mind, President Bush sings the following aria, set to the tune of "I Feel Pretty."  Viewers are encouraged to sing along.

I feel nauseous--

Oh so nauseous.

Next time I eat out,

I'll be cautious.

Wish I felt joy

Like my buddies drinking Lowenbrau.

I had knackwurst

And then bockwurst

And with weisswurst

I was sure I was thrice cursed.

And so nauseous--

One more bite and I was sure to burst!

What did they put in my lunch today?

I know it's something bad that I ate.

Could it be a plot?

Something in the pot?

Has some fiend dropped poison at the G8?

I'll call Cheney.

He's so brainy.

He'll send agents from the land of the free,

Someone who'll take a schnitzel for me!

(Glorious finish)

And then we'll all scram

And get the hell out of Heiligendamm!