Thursday, June 10, 2010

Coalition Supposition

"There is talk among the weak-kneed Liberals and the Godless Socialists of a merger, Mr. Prime Minister."

"Merger--hah!  Sounds to me more like a hostile takeover."

"I have heard," said Senior Sycophant Orville Bilious, "that Bob Rae has been going around Ottawa playing 'Takes Two to Tango'."

The PM responded by sitting at the keyboard and rattling off "You Can't Always Get What You Want."

A recent Angus Reid poll indicated that a majority of Canadians favor a Liberal-NDP coalition, and believe such a coming together could form a government--with someone other than you-know-who as leader.  With Bob Rae, the coalition would come even with Stephen Harper's Conservatives.  But with snappy-dressing Jack Layton, the coalition would zoom ahead, leaving the Harperians mired in the tar sands.  

This was welcome news to the group banded together under the slogan "Heave Steve."  (It was originally known as "Relieve Steve," but its leaders felt this sounded too much like an advertisement for a cure for irregularity.)

Names proposed for the coalition party:  The New Liberal Democrats, The New Democratic Liberals, and The New, Improved Liberals with Vitamins NDP.  Other possible leaders of the coalition:  Rick Mercer, Don Cherry, Gordon Ramsey and Homer Simpson.

The Prime Minister's Office insisted it is not concerned about this potential threat to its rule. It is sheer coincidence that a moat is being constructed around 24 Sussex Drive.

In other news, Prime Minister Harper has announced that the next Governor-General will be Feist.

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