Newt Moons the US

As his backup group, The Newtones, hummed "Oh, You Crazy Moon," former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich declared that if elected president, he will establish a base on the moon. Gingrich, hoping to receive the Republican Party's nomination for the presidency, said also that he would push for more flights to Mars. "Because," he said, "we love their chocolate bars."

President Obama congratulated Gingrich on what he called his "spacey thinking" and his ability to think "not only outside the box, but outside the planet. Even if Speaker Gingrich fails in his bid," said the president, "we would be happy to accommodate his dreams of space travel and put him on a flight to Pluto." 

Supporters of Gingrich now proudly identify themselves as Moonies.