Clear the air waves, stop the presses,
Get set for something that depresses.
Yes, dear friends, here's breaking news:
We've got the Octogenarian Blues.
Yeah, got them Octogenarian Blues--
A feelin' I just can't lose.
Played my gig, paid my dues,
All I've got to show for it
Is the Octogenarian Blues.
Back when I was a mere seventy-nine,
I was feelin' mighty fine.
And seventy-eight
Was also pretty great,
But let me tell you, matey,
It ain't the same at eighty.
Right now, I'm feelin' quite perplexed--
I can't tweet and I can't text--
This aging thing has got me vexed!
"Listen, chum, don't sound so glum.
As once Maurice Chevalier said,
Better to be old than dead,
So suck it up, buttercup."
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