Septuagenarian Superman

Superman turned 75 last week.

Yes, it was 1938 when the Man of Steel arrived from the planet Krypton to battle evil (with a little help from two teenage cartoonists named Siegel and Shuster).

Our Roving Reporter thought it was time to check in with Septuagenarian Superguy. Portions of the interview follow.

R.R.: So, Soup--is it okay if I call you that?--how has life changed for you now that you're into your senior years?

S'man:  Well, the X-ray vision isn't what it used to be. I'm now wearing trifocals and carrying a very large magnifying glass.

R.R.: But you're still out there foiling evildoers, right?

S'man: I am, but a little slower off the mark. Takes me longer to find a telephone booth to change in. Ever try changing in a cell phone?

R.R.: Would be tough. Unless you have the right app.

S'man: ..and I've had to have my tights let out. Put on a bit of weight.

R.R.: Happens to us all.

S'man: ..and a couple of times I've been picked up by the police for disrobing in a telephone booth.

R.R.: But I bet Lois Lane still finds you a most attractive guy.

S'man: Lois who? Could you speak into my good ear? Oh yeah, Lois--she's joined a group called the Angry Grannies. And things aren't quite the same for Clark Kent since Rupert Murdoch bought the Daily Planet. Poor old Clark is now in Classified Ads.

R.R.: Just one more question, Superguy. Are you..

S'man; Hold on, young fella--got a call that I'm needed on the other side of town. Could you give me a shove, to get me aloft?

And soon, astonished spectators called out:

"Look--up in the sky! Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No! It's an old guy with a cape and a walker!"