As Municipal Election fever hots up (sheer irony, as voter turnout is predicted at roughly thirty percent, many voters preferring to stay home and watch re-runs of "Cheers") one candidate's platform is worth some attention. A woman offering herself for the mayor's job in Burnaby is running primarily on a campaign to stamp out public demonstrations of affection. These acts, which she considers offensive and harmful, leading, she contends to violence, include holding hands and the traditional matrimonial kiss after the minister says, "I now pronounce you man and wife." Clergy, under new civic rules, would be required to follow this with, "You may not kiss the bride. You may not shake hands. You may not give each other a high five." Couples would then set off on separate honeymoons.
In other news of moral concern, several parents have protested that some costumes intended for girls as young as five appear to have been modeled after the racier numbers of Madonna and Lady Gaga. What ever happened to Snow White and Little Bo-Peep? No news of costumes for boys, but if the trend continues you may find at your door a troop of six-year-olds dressed as The Chippendales, shouting "Strip or Treat!"
We plan to dress as Ironman, and will, as usual, be going door to door with glass in hand.
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