The Great Gobbler Getaway

The turkeys at the farm were getting nervous, watching the clock wind down to Thanksgiving Day.

"Until now," said one of the younger turkeys, "I thought a roast was one of those things where people got up and told jokes and honored somebody."

"And I thought," said another, "that 'get stuffed' was just a rude remark."

One of the elder turkeys sighed and said, "That's not the worst. Do you know where we'll be after Thanksgiving?"

"We'll be toast."

"No," said the senior turkey, "we'll be soup."

He went on: "Do you know that Benjamin Franklin proposed that the United States' national emblem should be the turkey, instead of the eagle? If Ben had had his way, we'd be on gold coins, and people would be eating roast eagle."

"If only," said one of the younger turks, "Steve McGobble were here."

"No chance," said the senior. "After he engineered last year's great escape, he moved to the big time. I hear he's in Hollywood, working for Pixar. Today, for us, he's just a legend."

"Oh, I wouldn't say that," came a voice from the back of the barn. The turkeys whirled around and saw a tom turkey in sunglasses and motorcycle helmet. "It's him--it's Steve McGobble," someone cried.

"Steve," said the senior turkey, "what are you doing here? It's dangerous."

"That's exactly why I'm here," said McGobble. "I'm going to get you out of danger."

"But how?" asked a young turk.

"Ever hear the story of the Wooden Horse?" said McGobble. "How Ulysses wheeled a wooden horse into the Trojan compound? The Trojans thought it was a gift, but inside that hollow horse was a troop of fierce Greek soldiers."

"You've got a wooden horse, Steve?"

"Something better. I've got a flock of rubber turkeys."

"Rubber turkeys?"

"That's right. I got the idea from those rubber ducks kids have in bathtubs. These turkeys look like the real thing. And, with wireless control, I can make them move around and gobble. On Thanksgiving morning, I'll set them loose in the yard. The rest of us will hide here in the barn. Then, while the two-legged tyrants are anaesthetizing themselves with various potent potables, I'll hot wire the farmer's truck and we'll make our getaway."

"Gee," gushed a pretty turkey, "you sure talk good, Steve. "

"I've been taking diction lessons," he said, "from the same guy who coached Donald Duck."

Everything went according to plan, and as the farmer's family and friends were sitting down to dinner, Steve McGobble and company were speeding down the freeway.

Back at the farm, one of the guests said,  "Candied yams are delicious. Biscuits and cole slaw are wonderful. Gravy is creamy and rich. But I gotta say, this turkey is like rubber."

The farmer said, "Shut up and have more turnip wine."