Saturday, June 10, 2017

Yapes! The Tapes!

"Steve, we've got a problem."

"I'm here for you, Don. What is it?"

"The tapes. Congress is asking for tapes of my conversation with Comey. What we do?"

"Two choices, Don. If there are tapes, we do some creative splicing. I got a guy who can do magic with tape. He'll turn 'I hope you can see clear to let this go' to 'I hope but fear there may be snow'."

"That's beautiful, Steve. But here's the other thing."

"I'm all ears, Don. And bushy hair."

"Suppose there are no tapes. What then? It's that tall guy's word against mine."

"No tapes? We make tapes! Here's what we do: we call those people from 'The Simpsons," you know, the guys who do Homer and Mr. Burns and Ned Flanders."


"And we get them to do you and the other guy--with a script we write."

"Brilliant, Steve. They don't call you the Prince of Darkness for nothing. Do you know any of those people?"

"Harry Shearer, Hank Azaria--naw. But I figure for about a hundred grand a pop, we can get them. I hear Dan Castellaneta as a natural for you. He already does Homer and Krusty the Klown."

"I love it, Steve. But one thing worries me."

"And that is?"

"Maybe the FBI guy was wearing a wire, making his own tapes."

"Could be, Don.  I noticed he was wearing a very large tie pin. Might have contained a concealed microphone."


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