Once again, survivors of the 3-Day Novel Contest have staggered in at the end of Labor Day, brain-drained and weary, dragging their split infinitives, dangling participles, battered syntax and irregular verbs.
Onslow MacAroony, a veteran of the annual literary Iron Man, was reached at the Caffeine Detox Centre. He said, "Every year when it's over, I vow never again. Next year, I'll just go to the PNE, eat foot-long hot dogs and sugary beignets, and get sick on the Tilt-a-Whirl. But I know, deep within, that when the Labor Day weekend approaches, I won't be able to resist, and I'll be getting out my Thesaurus again."
In other news, the Hamilton Tiger-Cats finally won a game. Great sighs of relief in Steeltown, reports Slap Maxwell, who took time out from covering the 3-Day Novel Contest to watch the less grueling action on the gridiron.