Wednesday, May 23, 2018

Morgan Freeman says, "Sit up straight!"

It has been announced that Morgan Freeman will soon be issuing commands to SkyTrain passengers. Not that the Academy Award-winning actor will be riding the TransLink system; but we will hear his voice, delivering messages like this:

"Remember what your mom told you: don't put your feet on the furniture."

Each message will conclude with a reminder that you can now use a Visa card to charge your fare--one more way to increase your debt load.

We have a few suggestions for Morgan's messages. These include:

"Put down your phone and spare us all the details of your personal relationships."

"Please do not bring cartons of garlic chicken wings on board."

"If you have to sleep, do not rest your head on some stranger's shoulder."

"Did you remember to shower today?"

This is Morgan Freeman for Visa. Have a nice trip.

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