With the increasing popularity of public transit in Vancouver, Pointless Digressions Publications believes it is time for an etiquette guide for those traveling by bus, SkyTrain, or other public conveyance. Here is a sample of the tips contained in our just published "Don't Make a Fuss on the Bus."
Q: If the person sitting next to me is having a difficult personal conversation on his or her phone, should I step in and offer advice?
A: By all means. Assure your fellow passenger that you are an expert on relationships, having watched the Dr. Phil show for years.
Q: If the person by my side is eating something, perhaps peanuts or French fries, is it permissible to reach in and help myself?
A: Absolutely, but to be considerate, always carry with you a salt shaker and offer to sprinkle.
Q: Supposing my seat mate has a terrible racking cough and a round of explosive sneezing. Would it be insensitive to put on my surgical mask?
A: It would show a distinct lack of feeling. Instead, offer your seat mate your clean handkerchief or a cough drop or, if you've just shopped at the LCB, a restorative belt of brandy.
Q: If the person next to me falls asleep, with his/her head on my shoulder, what should I do?
A: Nothing. Stay very still and do not rise until the person awakes, even if you've gone five mies beyond your stop.
Yours for polite traveling--Miss P. Digressions.