Trump addresses NATO leaders in Brussels: "I figured the only thing I was gonna get here was those cabbagey things, you know, Brussels sprouts? But hey, these Belgian waffles are terrific. Bring me another plate. And lemme have more of those beg-nets."
Macron: "Donald, those are beignets, pronounced 'ben-yay'."
Trump: "Yeah? Whadda you know? Guy named after a pastry."
Melanie: "Donny, I heard the Italian leader order linguine puttanesca. Is delicious!"
Trump: "It's not Italian, sweetheart. It's Russian. Putinesca, get it? Named for my new best friend, Vladimir Putin."
Melanie: "That Macron--so handsome!"
Trump: "Huh."
Melanie: "And Justin--so slim, so fit. You know he does the Grouse Grind?"
Trump: "Listen, I could buy the Grouse Grind. Turn it into a golf course."
Trump's state dinner with Theresa May: "President Trump, we have a wine pairing with each course. Champagne cocktails to begin, a superb dry sherry with the turtle soup, a 1927 Bordeaux with the saddle of lamb, and Chateau d'Yquem with the camembert and nuts."
Trump: "I'll have a Diet Pepsi."
Trump meets the Queen: "So, what do they call you, Liz or Betty?
"Hey, why're these guys dragging me away? I was just giving you a little hug."
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