Friday, July 13, 2018

The Trumps in Europe

Trump addresses NATO leaders in Brussels: "I figured the only thing I was gonna get here was those cabbagey things, you know, Brussels sprouts? But hey, these Belgian waffles are  terrific. Bring me another plate. And lemme have more of those beg-nets."

Macron: "Donald, those are beignets, pronounced 'ben-yay'."

Trump: "Yeah? Whadda you know? Guy named after a pastry."

Melanie: "Donny, I heard the Italian leader order linguine puttanesca. Is delicious!"

Trump: "It's not Italian, sweetheart. It's Russian. Putinesca, get it? Named for my new best friend, Vladimir Putin."

Melanie: "That Macron--so handsome!"

Trump: "Huh."

Melanie: "And Justin--so slim, so fit. You know he does the Grouse Grind?"

Trump: "Listen, I could buy the Grouse Grind. Turn it into a golf course."

Trump's state dinner with Theresa May: "President Trump, we have a wine pairing with each course. Champagne cocktails to begin, a superb dry sherry with the turtle soup, a 1927 Bordeaux with the saddle of lamb, and Chateau d'Yquem with the camembert and nuts."

Trump: "I'll have a Diet Pepsi."

Trump meets the Queen: "So, what do they call you, Liz or Betty?

"Hey, why're these guys dragging me away? I was just giving you a little hug."

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