Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Bringing Down the Budget

In line with his federal and provincial counterparts, Uriah Chizelflint, Pointless Digressions Minister of Finance, has brought down his 2010 budget.

"This is a cautious but reckless budget," said the terminally confused Chizelflint.  "We are going to cut back severely on essential services and spend lavishly on risky, suspect and demonstrably hare-brained projects."  Highlights of the 2010 PD Budget follow:

* Education:  $21.35 for renewed subscription to National Enquirer. 

* Infrastructure:  $1.89 for paper clips.

* Arts, Culture and Sports:  $12.50 for autographed photo of Alvin and the Chipmunks, offset by expected revenue of $5,000 for Sidney Crosby's gloves, obtained at conclusion of Canada-US hockey game. 

* Community Outreach:  Significant savings anticipated though recycling of Christmas, Hanukkah, and Valentine's Day cards.  $1.50 for White-Out.

*  Travel:  Sizable reduction of travel expenses through use of elderly neighbor's bus pass. 

*  Health:  $341 for medicinal spirits and consultation with Dr. Jack Daniel.

*  Taxation:  Expect cost of perusing of this blog to rise sharply.  

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