Ma Green's Riot Report

"Yis, I saw that fracas last Wednesday night. Disgraceful, I call it. Disgraceful! Of course, as our friends in the media keep tellin' us, those wasn't Vancouver people involved in the window smashin' and car burnin'. No, they was Martians.

"And those wasn't hockey fans, either. Mebbe those hooligans was wearin' $200 Canucks sweaters, but they probly stole 'em off the backs of some real fans.

"Sure, it was a good idea they shut the liquor stores early. But did you see what the street vendors was peddlin'? Riot Cola.

"I'm goin' out now to sweep up some glass and write a sonnet on the boarded-up Bay windows. This is Ma Green, sayin' keep cheery, dearie."