The United States Central Intelligence Agency has released more of the documents recovered from Osama bin Laden's Pakistan hideaway. We have been permitted to publish certain extracts.
To Eydie Gorme: "Why you not answer my cries of devotion, sweet songstress? We could make such beautiful music together. Come to me--I will play my oud and you will sing. 'That old black magic got me in its spell...'"
To the Grecian Formula company: "Please send another case of Brave Leader Black. Beard is beginning to look tacky."
To Bombs 'r' Us: "Looking forward to your shipment of (ha ha) fireworks for Pakistani celebrations."
To Mahmoud Ahmadinejad: "Got a song for you. Here's the chorus: 'Don't be bad/To Ahmadinejad, Don't be rude/To our pal Mahmoud.' Could be big hit. Believe I can get Eydie Gorme to record it."
To Stephen Spielberg: "Looking for new blockbuster superhero movie? How about 'The Incredible Osama Man'? Great role for Brad Pitt. Eydie Gorme as Number One Wife."
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