As Valentine's Day, 2014 approaches, Justice Minister Peter MacKay announced that a team of RCMP special investigators is close to solving one of the nation's longest and most troubling mysteries. "I can assure you," said Minister MacKay, "that before the day is over, we will know who the who is in 'Guess Who'.
"For decades," Canada's top law enforcement official continued, "people have been plagued by receiving cards signed 'Guess Who.' And, I might add, some of these cards have contained hurtful messages."
"Indeed that's so," said Prime Minister Stephen Harper. "I am still wounded by a Guess Who card I received in Grade Three. I do not look like Humpty Dumpty."
"Be warned, Mr. or Ms. Who," declared MacKay, "we are on to you."
As the news conference came to a close, the Justice Minister was handed a box of chocolate-coated anchovies. The accompanying card was signed "Guess Who."
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