We Do Not Hate Gwyneth

So we're picking up the newspaper this morning to see if Joe Oliver is still promising a balanced budget (it's rumored the Conservatives are working on a deal with Mephistopheles) or if Bill Belichick has been giving any more science lessons, and what do we find? I mean, apart from the usual sloppy editing that would get C minus in journalism school? We find an article about hating Gwyneth Paltrow.

This was written by someone named Anne Billson (I know, we've never heard of her either, but it's probable that she has not been declared "the world's most beautiful woman," which may be one reason she hates Gwyneth Paltrow). Anyway, Ms. Billson says that when she Googled the words "hate Gwyneth Paltrow" she got five million hits. And not that kind of hits.

Ms. Billson, recently promoted from the classified ads section, writes that Ms. Paltrow appeared in "dull, prissy films such as 'Sylvia'." Okay, has she ever seen "Sylvia"? Does Daniel Craig, who played Ted Hughes to Ms. Paltrow's Sylvia Plath, think the film is dull and prissy? And does Daniel Craig hate Gwyneth Paltrow? We guess not.

Mario Batali doesn't hate her, either. He even lets her wear one of his aprons. Asked his opinion on the hate Gwyneth thing, he replies, "It's a load of salumi."

It may be true that Ms. Paltrow might have spent a little more time with the baby name book before calling her first child Apple, but even so, no hate justified. Although we don't know how Apple feels.

Ms. Billson--back to her--does write that it may be excessive to express hate for someone who is a film actress and not, say, Kim Jong-un. Or Mike Belichick.

We bet Richard Sherman loves Gwyneth. And Marshawn Lynch. We mean Marshawn Lynch loves Gwyneth Paltrow, not that Richard Sherman loves Marshawn Lynch, although that's okay, too.

Go, Seahawks! Go, Gwyneth!