Bishops in Love

In the spirit of St. Valentine, whose festival we celebrate this month, and in the glow of recent announcements (which discretion forbids us to elaborate) the Parish of Saint Amand (patron of wine merchants and innkeepers) announces its spring musical production, an original work by music director Wilfred Witherspoon to be performed by our Senior and Junior Choirs, with guest soloists of the highest artistic calibre and moral stature. Ladies and gentlemen, we are proud to announce the inaugural production of "Bishops in Love"!

While the plot (or "book," as show business people put it) must remain as secret as the confessional until opening night, we have been permitted to share the lyrics of the show's title song. (Did someone say, "Eat your heart out, Billy Joel"?)

La la la, bishops in love!
La la la, heavens above!
Could anything ecclesiastical
Be so romantically fantastical?

Bishops now get out and date
It's not their fate to be celibate.
They know that somewhere there's a mate
Waiting just to conjugate!

Although they wield the mighty crozier
Two in love can be much cozier.
So when Venus calls they don't fight her--
They ditch their cope and mitre.

Though some may claim to be quite shocked
They know they will not be defrocked
(At least, not for all to see
In their See.)

Wedded bliss is salutary
From Qu'Appelle to Canterbury
So give your hearts a shove,
All you bishops in love!

Wo wo wo, bishops in love!
Romance can be non-verbal
Hidden beneath the purple.
La la la, bishops in love!

And one more tantalizing tidbit, or, as they say, a plug from the pulpit: as this is sung, dancers will appear in white stoles studded with red hearts and carrying Cupid bows and arrows, which they will shoot into the audience. (Well, not actually into the audience--over their heads, we pray.)

Mark your calendars now for this marvelous musical production! And note: Special discount for clergy due to be married this year. Whether they know it or not.